The sunday blues

Sunday morning @ 8.34.........tired but couldn't sleep. I actually have a yoga class scheduled but since the monthly flow finally arrived .......11 days late which had me stressed, i am not going. I do hope that the following week will be a better one. Work is really getting to me. My employer is a total ugly bitch who keeps taking advantage of my niceness. Well GAME OVER biatch!!!! 2 more weeks and then i'm on a 1 1/2 week vaca and then only 1 day left of work left for her bratty child, who i once so adored! Children turn to be like their children, there is nothing you can do about it. It's the influence, well kinda the only the only influence the child has at that age. But it's unbarring this brat, plus I got to a point where i don't care.

To my surprise I found a wedding venue for our June 19th 2011 wedding quite fast. I pictured something diffferent....nice, cozy intimate and romantic somewhere out in the country. Since people are travelling so far to get here, I figured that we should do it more local and central in London. But who would have thought that getting married can be so difficult? Especially when you are not getting married in your religion. I am catholic and want to keep my religion, my fiance is jewish, and it's not the easiest task to take on now. Well lets say not cheap hahah. Jewish people, no disrespect but what a scheme and rip off it is to have a rabbi marry us. You believe in your religion and you exercise it, so should you really pay monthly or quarterly fees to join the synagogue? C'mon wtf and i am not just talking about 50$ lets talk about 200$ and up. It's sad seriously! I remember in Germany we had to pay church taxes wtf they try to get you everywhere you want. What happened to ....hey lets get married sign the papers and that it!!!! Not in this world!

But that's what we have to do now, so that shall be my next task joining a jewish community that allows non jews....I guess I can say that I got very lucky, that they have that here in London. I was talking to an old school friend of mine, who is catholic as well and her partner is jewish. Due to his job they moved back to Israel. They have been together for 5 years and I thought, that they were married. Well she told me that it is IMPOSSIBLE for them to get married in the holy land and that they are putting so many rocks in their way (it's a german saying). I gave her my contact to an amazing rabbi who also helped me here in London, so I hope he can be some kind of help to them.

I kinda want to get out of London! The summer has been so cold and really not nice. I've been noticing all the brown leafs in the park and the dark early lights. Yesterday I was wearing a heavy wool sweater ( i think i will never say "jumper") so long summer. I am dying to go to Paris. i don't know why. Maybe it's my eye that wants to go more. I want to intake all the beautiful things and capture them on my camera. London is nice, but I live here so it's very different i think. I just need to get away. I know that would make me feel much different. The upcoming move and new job are making me feel good. I am so tired of this shitty flat ( well actually lovely and will miss the huge windows, and beautiful view) let's say it landlord and job so it's a new chapter for me and Feliks both. So much for the sunday blues......

It has to be about 2 years

.....Since I last wrote anything more than just 2 lines or a silly email. Life has changed for the better and worst. Changes are coming up in the next months and changes came in the last months. So I am living in London now, the city that I do not like so much. NYC is so different from the smell on the streets to the filth in the subways, people, speed and even the pigeons are different. I am trying to have a "beautiful" life with my wonderful fiance. Yes engaged I am now too. I know years back I was writing about domestic violence and now I am finally truly happy, although sometimes I want to rip his head off, but he is just a man, it's not his fault. I work as a Nanny now, well for the past year 1/2. If i knew that I would start working as a Nanny once I move to London I would have def not moved here. The problem is that I honestly got quite comfortable in this job and the pay isn't bad. The honest reason for starting again, besides I always had the urge but didn't go through with it, anyways I am hoping for myself to calm down again. To find a balance in life that will help me relax. I don't care if nobody reads it, it's just my little space where I can vent to whenever I want.

Jen